West Potomac High School in Alexandria, Va., has stopped giving “F” grades, the Washington Post reports.

Earlier this year, the school all but eradicated the standard mark for “failure”, instead supplying wayward students with the letter “I” for incomplete.

A B C D E I

By DDKK

A Virginia High School found a way
To do what all schools must today
But oh! what did they find?
A question that you well may ask:
How West Potomac faced the task
Of “No Child Left Behind.”

“What happens when a kid’s too slow?
For other schools would like to know
Just how they this requirement met.
They hit upon a failsafe plan
Unique since highschools first began
They dropped “F” from the alphabet.

Why what a novel trick to play!
For when there is no other way
This tactic wins the prize.
For once one fathoms what they’ve done
This strategy is something one
could elsewhere utilize.

Those tasks we’ve shunned and matters hated
Could forthwith be  eliminated!
There can’t be any doubt:
The first example has to be
That Mondays are a misery
Which man could do without.

Once we decide how we’d prefer
To modify the calendar
And likewise prune the alphabet
Then we can start on history
and end the awful mystery
of presidents we all forget.

When Millard Fillmore’s expurgated
And random others abrogated
The universe comes next.
But Pluto is already gone
They’ve thwarted us and purged it on
Some flimsier pretext.

So much of Greece and Rome’s excised
For sex that might have compromised
The norms of Christendom
Why teach us of the vapid arts?
And leave out all the juicy parts?
Cut out the tedium!

But then we find our scalpel dulled
For sauropods have just been culled
And dinosauric lore.
They’ve chosen to eradicate
And ex post facto deprecate
The dear old brontosaur

Selective trimmings have been made
to  imprecate and to evade
What dogmatists abhor.
So why not make them serve the need
of those who struggle to succeed
When school is such a bore?

Dear Scholars,

Our theme this week being absurdity and nonsense literature, here is an interesting example, inspired by Angela’s Insomnia verse:

The Nightmare Song from Iolanthe by G&S.

Here is one of the great classic nonsense verses:

Jabberwocky

(See Jabberwocky glossary)

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Dear Scholars,

Let’s go over the modifiers playsheet handed out last week and which you have all prepared.

Are there any comments on the short but brilliant videos of Garrison Keillor on the art of writing?

A number of poems have been posted. Let’s recite and examine them:

• Amanda posted O Captain My Captain, By Walt Whitman
• Sam posted I Surrender
• Derek posted Butter

You have no doubt already read the discussion of scansion and form in poetry, music and art. We will discuss these. Prepare any questions you have and ask them. We will apply these principles in our study of poems.

You have all read and listened to The Raven by Poe, read by Garrison Keillor. Do you understand why this is one of the world’s favorite poems?

Let’s look at poems written by the class.

Our Poetry Forum contains both great classic poems and student works. Some great classics in this collection are Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard by Thomas Gray, High Flight and The Lady of Shalott. Please read and listen to these if we don’t get to them in class.

A poetry section has also been added to our main classroom page, including a new section on dissident poetry.

Dear Scholars,

Class this week was again beset with technical problems. Much thanks goes to Justin for letting us run the class on his computer and for handling the screen. Thanks also to online student LaRa for serving as host to online class visitors who were confused by the delay. This technical problem has been resolved but who knows what insidious glitches may plague us in the future. Apologies also if the lecture and class were less cogent and cohesive than usual — though as computer traumas do seem to be the norm, it’s not at all clear that there is any established precedent for normality in our class with which to compare. We keep hoping. The recording of the class is online, but the audio doesn’t start until about 10 minutes in.

The theme of this class was the written word, but time was also spent on discussion of innate and intuitive language learning as opposed to the the conscious study of language rules, together with a general discussion of rules as opposed to creativity. On a similarly subversive note, we also revisited the history of Apple somewhat, following up on Derek’s talk on Apple and the lecture by Stephen Fry given at the T3 Gadget Awards 2010 which was assigned for this week. We also viewed the 1984 Apple Macintosh commercial which referenced the dystopian world of Orwell’s Big Brother. This was particularly appropriate as our Windows Vista class computer was non-functional and the class was being conducted on an Apple. We considered the possibility of exploring further the works of George Orwell.

The American storyteller, Garrison Keillor was also mentioned and his
The News From Lake Wobegon broadcast that took place last week which was assigned for this week.

Our supplementary online class on Saturday afternoon was also mentioned. You can watch the class recording.

We also examined this Excerpt from a discussion of Obama’s foreign policy, noting one particular beautifully written but fragmentary sentence and did a quick tour of classroom resources.

Suggestions for the last few minutes of class were requested and 20 questions was submitted. We played 20 questions rather badly.

Homework:
Please watch at least the first part of Unacknowledged Legislation — a speech given at Rutgers University on the power of the written word in politics and social transformation. It’s fairly long, so we’ll give it two weeks. Listen to it for its use of language as well as its message. Be sure to have your vocabulary journals and dictionaries handy.

Suggested writing project — the power of words: Put into words a complaint, diatribe or persuasive work. Express an opinion that you feel strongly about.

Please continue to post and read material in the Balderdash Forum. More words will be added.

Please continue your vocabulary journals.