One hot summer day at Granny's wee house, The cat and the bird were starting to grouse. "We need some excitement, there's nothing to do. Let's go on a picnic or visit the zoo!" "Good gracious," said Granny, "what do you think? I've rented a van with a stove and a sink. It has tables and couches that turn into beds. Now, both of you, stop shaking your heads. "Just pack up your gear as fast as you can, We're hitting the road in this wonderful van." The cat and the bird quickly packed up their stuff, And Granny fixed food that was more than enough. "You betcha!" said Granny, "This is the way " We'll, all of us, have a beautiful day. Now shut up your beak and curl up your whiskers, We're going to pick up the bickering sisters." The bickering sisters, named Sara and Jay, Lived in a house that was right on the way. "Oh dear," said the cat, "we soon will be there. Will they ruffle bird's feathers or pull on my hair?" "Don't worry, you two," said Gran, with a wink, "Now put on these ear plugs -- get out of the sink. Those bickering sisters just pick on each other, And I've promised to help their dad and their mother." "Those girls love each other more than they know; We'll teach them a lesson and put on a show. With a little of this and a little of that, And the power that lies in my old magic hat." The magic old hat came from a trunk That Granny had found in a big pile of junk. She tried it right on and tugged at the brim, And made a small wish, just on a whim. And the funny old hat changed in a wink To anything Granny happened to think. A magical hat! Isn't that Dandy? With the bickering sisters, it'll sure come in handy. She pulled on the brim -- the van flew through the air; In a matter of minutes they were practically there. They parked by the curb; not a soul was in sight, But the sounds from the house gave them all quite a fright. The little house shook and the windows did rattle, The bickering sisters were engaged in a battle. Words flew around and about in the air, With a shout, and a screech, and a yell, and a blare! "Good gracious," said Granny, "those girls are a pair; Peek through the windows -- they even pull hair!" She tugged on her hat and marched to the door. It was time to make peace and settle this war. "Okay girls," said Granny, "knock off this guff, Wash up your faces and pack up your stuff. Give a quick kiss to your dad and your mother, Keep your hands to yourself -- don't pick on each other. "We'll head for the hills in my beautiful van; Take seats far apart -- as far as you can." The bird and the cat looked with awe at dear Granny; The things she could do were really uncanny. "Please, Granny," said Sara, "please stop at the mall. We'll shop 'til we drop and all have a ball." "No! No! Please Granny," said little Miss Jay, "Please stop at the park, I want to play." The bickering started and rose to a wail, The bird pecked at Granny, the old cat turned pale. "Button your lips," said Gran, with a smile, "We'll be in the woods in a very short while." Over the malls and the parks, Granny flew, With the sisters, the cat and the bright cockatoo. They arrived in the woods before it was dark, And Granny soon found a nice place to park. "This campground is yucky," said Sara and Jay, "No place to shop -- no place to play." "Stuff and nonsense," said Granny, "We'll have a great time; Camping out in the woods can be quite sublime. "We'll unpack our stuff and set up the van, Now scoot an skidaddle as fast as you can. There's a pit over there to build a nice fire, And we'll all sing some songs before we retire. "You girls can go gather some wood and some sticks, Be careful of bears, and wood nymphs, and ticks. Pick only the wood you find on the ground; Take care of the trees and all nature around. "Now, put on a smile -- no more long faces, And try to enjoy the wide open spaces. Stay as close as you can, close to each other; When you're out in the woods, you need one another." They went out in the woods where the trees grew much thicker, But those two little girls continued to bicker. They fought over sticks, they fought over wood; They poked and they shoved whenever they could. "You're smelly and dumb," said Sara to Jay, "I'd leave you alone if I had my way." Her sister yelled back: "You're ugly and mean! You won't need a costume when it's Halloween." The squirrels and the chipmunks looked on in dismay; The robins and bluejays flew quickly away. While scratching and punching, they both got quite bloody And rolled on the ground until they were muddy. Back at the campsite, and well underway, Was sweet Granny's plan for Sara and Jay. She stalked in the woods to give them a fright; The bird and the cat stayed well out of sight. The bickering sisters, it's sorry to say, Were making the worst of a beautiful day; But their shouting and shrieking stopped in mid-air, When, out of the trees, stepped a scary brown bear. "Quick, get behind me," said Sara to Jay, "I'll deal with this bear -- quick -- run away!" "Leave you alone?" said Jay, in a whisper, "I'll stay, and I'll help you. You are my sister." Just then, the bear put on a cap And tugged at the brim with a very loud snap. There stood sweet Gran, with a smile on her face; The girls passed the test -- they were not in disgrace. "Good gracious," said Granny, "you girls catch on quick, But what did you learn from my wonderful trick?" "We learned," said the girls, "we sure love one another, And when push comes to shove, we sure need each other. "Pushing and poking is really no fun; You're hurt and you're crying before you are done. Bruises may fade, and that is a fact, But the mean things you say, you can never take back." "Okay now," said Granny, "let's go back to camp. We'll start up the fire and light up the lamp. We'll toast some weenies, and marshmallows too, And have a fine time -- I'm so proud of you!" And then, in the morning, they packed up the van, Leaving the campground just so -- spic and span. "You betcha," said Granny, "we've had lots of fun, But I must get you home now; my work here is done." With a little of this and a wee bit of that, She started the van and put on her hat. The cat raised an eyebrow, the bird gave a wink; What will Granny do next? What do you think?
Last Modified July 14, 1997